I’ve been writing these blog posts, so far, from as neutral
and factual a standpoint as I possibly can. I have immersed myself and my
children in nature, looking at the world in awe, always remembering the
infamous words of my dad about, “no miserable shit!”
Those words have brought me a surprising amount of comfort, but as painful as it is to admit, I am still a daughter who is grieving the very recent loss of her father, and sometimes I can't help but to feel the deep sadness that comes with losing a parent.
Benno and I are extremely lucky that our dad instilled in
both of us a great love of, and comfort in, the natural world. From the moment we could toddle,
dad would take us walking through ancient woodlands to take plaster of Paris casts of the footprints we found, we would travel this country and beyond to
watch rare birds, and we spent incredible holidays off grid in France at a
fishing lake, completely surrounded by nature for weeks, and so much more. And I
know that all of this has helped us both now immensely, because even on the
darkest of days, we have both spent time connecting with nature in our own way.
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| Holidays in France were the best! |
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The resident chef
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Whenever I am watching the birds or walking through the woods,
I always feel like my dad is with me, and I know that he would derive great pleasure
from watching Evelyn empty the moth trap, whilst her little brother watched
from a “safe” distance! (He’s not so keen on the moths… yet!)
But aside from all the things that I feel,
I also know the actual physical and emotional benefits of being in nature for
humans, especially at times when we are experiencing grief and loss. This is
because, perhaps unsurprisingly as the daughter of Dylan, I am a qualified
eco-therapist, which means that I facilitate people spending time in nature in
order to heal, and if you would indulge me for a few minutes, I will explain
why we find the natural world so healing and what “nature connectedness” is.
Nature connectedness is more than just time spent
outside; it’s about how you spend that time outside developing
your relationship with nature. A person who lives in a city and spends 20
minutes a day outside feeding the wildlife and observing the plants growing
through the cracks of a wall is more connected to nature than a person who
lives in the countryside and goes on long country walks whilst taking business
calls on their phone.
Nature connectedness is a measurable, psychological
construct, studied by Professor Miles Richardson and his team at the University
of Derby. It can vastly improve happiness and wellbeing in humans in a short
space of time, and this has knock-on positive effects for nature.
Professor Richardson and his team created five simple
pathways to nature connectedness, which are extremely easy to incorporate into
everyday life.
The five pathways to nature connectedness are:
Senses: Taking time to tune into nature through
the senses
Emotion: How does nature make you feel?
Beauty: Noticing natures beauty
Meaning: Nature brings meaning to our lives
Compassion: Caring for and taking action for
nature
The more I studied the art of nature connectedness,
the more fascinated I became by this deep, instinctive connection that we have
with the natural world around us.
Did you know that listening to birdsong can improve
your mood and lessen anxiety, placing your hands on trees lowers cortisol
levels in the body, and forest bathing has a positive effect on blood pressure,
heart rate and your immune system? These are just a few examples of the huge
impact connecting with the natural world has on us.
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| One of my previous work spaces |
Obviously, my dad would have rolled his eyes at this and would have simply said, “we call that going outside, Fanny Anne,” I can hear his voice as I type
those words, but I think, whether he believed in the science of nature
connectedness or not, he absolutely immersed himself in the natural world,
particularly when he was going through hard times, and he certainly felt the
benefits of being in nature. It was a place where his soul felt completely at
home, and I’m so grateful that he shared his passion for nature with me, because it enables me to feel like I am always connected with him.
Specifically relating to grief, the power of nature is undeniable.
Wilshire Wildlife Trust has a page on their website all about nature
connectedness and grief and they write:
“For those who are grieving, connectedness in
nature can offer many benefits and aid healing:
It can remind us of the continuum of life and that
we and our loved one are still part of something greater than ourselves that
goes on existing without us.
It provides a place and space to attend to our
grief without intrusion from the ongoing demands of work, family and everyday
responsibilities.
It can promote mindfulness, allowing the grieving
person to anchor themselves in a moment by physically touching, smelling and
listening to nature.
It allows us to disconnect from technology and find
quiet, solitude and comfort in life rhythms that are natural, soothing and
restorative.
It reminds us of the beauty that can be found all
around us - even in our grief, it can be comforting to realise that beauty
still exists.
The sights and sounds of nature can offer
distraction from a cycle of difficult thoughts.”
The
healing benefits of nature for people experiencing grief | Wiltshire Wildlife
Trust
For me, personally, being in nature reminds me that life
goes on; the sun will rise and set, the moon and stars will remain in the sky,
the seasons will change, and somehow, in amongst it all, I get to experience
the wonder of being alive.
I am grateful that I get to wake up every day and spend
time with my children, that I can pick and eat food that we have grown, that I can
listen to the dawn chorus each day, and that I got to spend 45 years and 317
days with my dad, even if we didn’t spend as much time together as maybe we
could have. He was and is always with me.
I know that I am not the only one who turns to the
natural world when I want to feel close to my dad, I’ve had so many messages and
photos from people saying that they have just seen a certain bird or walked
around a certain nature reserve and seen something that reminded them of my
dad. I’m so happy that so many people remember him that way.
If you are grieving the loss of a loved one, I really
hope that this blog has helped you a little bit. Even if you can’t go on a wild
adventure, simply feeding the birds, looking at plants and animals, or sitting
outside for 20 minutes will help you connect with nature, and hopefully help
you to feel a little bit better.
Thank you for indulging me, normal blog service will
resume shortly, I just thought I would share this in case it helps somebody.
Sarah. X