Who am I?

My photo
An individual, of no great importance, who is unable to see the natural world as a place for competition. I catch fish, watch birds, derive immense pleasure from simply looking at butterflies, moths, bumble-bees, etc - without the need for rules! I am Dylan and this is my blog - if my opinions offend? Don't bother logging on again - simple!


Tuesday 29 November 2016

Tangents and blind alleys

As the years pass things, which I once thought important, have now become very secondary in their power and influence. It is this aging process which has allowed me to remain fascinated by my hobbies, the enjoyment of each in no way diminished, by a simple realization of how very far down the list of priorities in my, latter, life they have fallen. My ability to rejoice in the capture of an eel in March, or a Song Thrush sulking in the garden shadows is an indication of how my life has moved on since those crazy obsessional phases. Following the death of my father I have been focused on how soon can I retire? There is light at the end of this particular tunnel but, now, I'm having second thoughts! It's true that my fathers' estate will result in a very substantial amount of money being deposited into my account, but is that all I care about? Mum and Dad didn't work as hard as they did to ensure that they had a good life, they worked to ensure that they were able to assist the next generation as well. As the incumbent head of the Wrathall clan it is now down to me to continue with this ethos and attempt to maintain the values that my parents strove to instill. Would leaving work and living off their efforts be what they wanted? No; I don't think so either - as appealing a scenario as it is.
I am wrestling with several options, at present, although my sensible head says to remain within FSIS and bump up my mega generous company pension with the maximum AVC's allowed. My health remains good, although the arthritis situation is never going to improve - can I find another role, within the organization, which will allow me to stay employed but without the physical stresses placed upon my aging frame by my current position? I've opened a few lines of inquiry and have gleaned some ideas that could just provide a solution to my predicament. This might require a leap of faith to get to the desired situation, but the safety net is in place should it prove to be a wrong decision - it's a "no brainer" when viewed from that angle. C.V's and interview techniques - what's all that about? I have to relearn a process which has no equivalent in my past. You applied for a job - got called in for a chat and if you fitted the criteria - "When can you start?" and that was about all there was to it! In 2016 there are layers of psychological examination, competence and aptitude assessments before any decision process has a chance of kicking in. How will I negotiate such a mine-field? I've already visited HR and inquired about appropriate dress code! First hurdle safely negotiated - all that's left is the entire process of applying for a job and proving that you are sufficiently enthusiastic, and skilled, to fulfill the role. Piece of piss!
I have to accept that I might fall short of the mark (could go to a tribunal claiming ageism!) yet don't feel at ease with the whole situation. There is always the scenario of "if the face fits?" - and I guarantee that mine doesn't. Hair cuts and clean shaven ain't where Dad's influence has taken me - be proud/confident to be an individual - I am! Cutting my nose to spite my face? - I'll still be a relatively wealthy, ex digital, FSIS employee whatever the outcome. I could explore other opportunities, as offered by the retail trade, - I'd give up beer and become vegetarian first! So where am I headed? Tangents and blind alleys sums up everything about my life at present - fear not, I ain't ready to quit this gig in the near future, whatever fate dishes up. The uncertainty is where I am having a problem - I don't know when I will have to make a decision? I don't know how much money is involved (except that it's going to be far in excess of anything I've previously known)  and, if I'm totally honest, couldn't give a toss. Maybe easy to say when it's not something important - I completely understand why others would view that statement in a very different context. "Money doesn't make you happy!" - SAYS WHO? It certainly makes you less sad, and there's no disputing that.


  1. Whatever path you choose Dyl will be the right one. There isn't a wrong one. They all end up at the same final destination!

    1. "When you don't know where you're going any road will lead you there!" George Harrison. I'm confident that it will result in a happy ending; whatever path I choose, or is chosen for me! I'll defer the ultimate destination for as long as possible if it's all the same to you. Cheers for taking time to comment - Dyl

  2. Dyl, at 60 years of age, I think it's fair to say you've paid your dues at the pit face. And it should be noted, it's an age where in many professions, retirement has already occurred.
    The main issue sounds familiar to myself where we have an inherent work ethic, and a wish to make a contribution to the greater good.
    It's a hard habit to break.
    We isn't bums!

    1. Rich, the professions where retirement is an option, at such a tender age, require qualifications and good school reports, plus genuine ability and commitment to a career. None of those attributes could be further from my own passage through life. It is true that I've gained many certificates for answering questions whilst at school/college and the OU, but I've tossed it off for the majority of my employed life - just doing enough to keep a roof over me and my family's heads and food in the cupboard - it's been a stroll in the park by comparison to the high-flying, big hitters. The only positive that I can offer as a defense for my career path is that I've seen and done things that many, more money motivated, individuals can but dream of (or watch on a David Attenborough documentary?) So you are right that I have "done my time" but the family ethic must remain true and at the forefront of my choices, post this inheritance windfall.
      As I was writing this stuff - I was just thinking out loud - not really expecting a reply, but very happy that you and Steve have taken the trouble to offer support. I'm a very lucky guy, many good men have fallen as I've wandered life's highway. For as long as my health remains intact, I shall continue to chase my dreams, remaining true to my beliefs and parental guidance as to the importance of being an individual. Sixty-one on Sunday - too late to change course now? - Dyl

  3. I was thinking along the lines of 'fireman', 'police' and armed forces such as the Navy.
    My own father retired at 63 and due to poor health, my mother a bit earlier at 54. They had no issue with working. They'd worked enough.
    Really, the only condition you have to meet is to pay bills. And so long as there are enough numbers (money) to draw on. It doesn't matter that you aren't actively earning the stuff.
    A question of lifestyle and calculating how much dosh is required until the official state retirement age.

    At least you haven't started breeding again like my neighbour. Same age as you. I kid you not.