As the years pass things, which I once thought important, have now become very secondary in their power and influence. It is this aging process which has allowed me to remain fascinated by my hobbies, the enjoyment of each in no way diminished, by a simple realization of how very far down the list of priorities in my, latter, life they have fallen. My ability to rejoice in the capture of an eel in March, or a Song Thrush sulking in the garden shadows is an indication of how my life has moved on since those crazy obsessional phases. Following the death of my father I have been focused on how soon can I retire? There is light at the end of this particular tunnel but, now, I'm having second thoughts! It's true that my fathers' estate will result in a very substantial amount of money being deposited into my account, but is that all I care about? Mum and Dad didn't work as hard as they did to ensure that they had a good life, they worked to ensure that they were able to assist the next generation as well. As the incumbent head of the Wrathall clan it is now down to me to continue with this ethos and attempt to maintain the values that my parents strove to instill. Would leaving work and living off their efforts be what they wanted? No; I don't think so either - as appealing a scenario as it is.
I am wrestling with several options, at present, although my sensible head says to remain within FSIS and bump up my mega generous company pension with the maximum AVC's allowed. My health remains good, although the arthritis situation is never going to improve - can I find another role, within the organization, which will allow me to stay employed but without the physical stresses placed upon my aging frame by my current position? I've opened a few lines of inquiry and have gleaned some ideas that could just provide a solution to my predicament. This might require a leap of faith to get to the desired situation, but the safety net is in place should it prove to be a wrong decision - it's a "no brainer" when viewed from that angle. C.V's and interview techniques - what's all that about? I have to relearn a process which has no equivalent in my past. You applied for a job - got called in for a chat and if you fitted the criteria - "When can you start?" and that was about all there was to it! In 2016 there are layers of psychological examination, competence and aptitude assessments before any decision process has a chance of kicking in. How will I negotiate such a mine-field? I've already visited HR and inquired about appropriate dress code! First hurdle safely negotiated - all that's left is the entire process of applying for a job and proving that you are sufficiently enthusiastic, and skilled, to fulfill the role. Piece of piss!
I have to accept that I might fall short of the mark (could go to a tribunal claiming ageism!) yet don't feel at ease with the whole situation. There is always the scenario of "if the face fits?" - and I guarantee that mine doesn't. Hair cuts and clean shaven ain't where Dad's influence has taken me - be proud/confident to be an individual - I am! Cutting my nose to spite my face? - I'll still be a relatively wealthy, ex digital, FSIS employee whatever the outcome. I could explore other opportunities, as offered by the retail trade, - I'd give up beer and become vegetarian first! So where am I headed? Tangents and blind alleys sums up everything about my life at present - fear not, I ain't ready to quit this gig in the near future, whatever fate dishes up. The uncertainty is where I am having a problem - I don't know when I will have to make a decision? I don't know how much money is involved (except that it's going to be far in excess of anything I've previously known) and, if I'm totally honest, couldn't give a toss. Maybe easy to say when it's not something important - I completely understand why others would view that statement in a very different context. "Money doesn't make you happy!" - SAYS WHO? It certainly makes you less sad, and there's no disputing that.