It seems unbelievable that Bev passed away four weeks ago and yet I'm still nowhere close to getting over the trauma. It doesn't matter where I am, or what I'm doing, there are always memories and flash-backs which recall our time together. Thankfully Bruno doesn't understand what's going on and boisterously demands attention on a regular basis. Our daily walks provide me with space, and time, to enjoy the simple pleasures of being outdoors. The binos and camera kit play a huge part in this aspect of my daily routine and I am certainly learning quite a lot about how little I actually know about so many creatures that share my space.
 |
| Gold Spot - by no means a rare moth yet, it is one of those species which fired my enthusiasm way back at the start of my journey and still retains that "something special" every time I see one. |
 |
| Female Azure Damselfly - well at least I think it is? The more I look the less I know! |
I am now in the process of selling Bev's Mazda CX-3, as it is absolutely useless to me! Can't get rods and stinking nets, mats, etc within such a small vehicule, plus it is £48/month to insure, thus a cost I can well do without. I have also been in contact with NRS and arranged that they come to collect the hospital bed and associated kit which is now redundant and taking up space in my spare room. Wardrobes need emptying, as do many cupboards and drawers around the bungalow. Thankfully, Debbie (Bev's daughter) is more than happy to assist me in this task, although because of work commitments, it will be weekends only.
 |
| A Yellow-tailed Moth caterpillar out on Minster Marshes |
 |
| Pine Hawk-moth - always a welcome visitor to the garden MV trap |
 |
| Large Skipper enjoying the sunshine out on Minster Marshes |
The world will continue to rotate and, with it, so my life should also resume some form of routine. Quite how different it will be from the previous twenty-five years remains for me to find out? It might seem quite weird to visitors to my blog but, I get a great deal of positivity by sharing my version of reality via the posts I place into cyberspace.
Difficult times Dylan, my thoughts are with you.
ReplyDeleteNothing can prepare you for such a traumatic experience, so you need to hope that there are others around you who can ease the pain? I am certainly very fortunate in this regard. Cheers for the comment & tight lines for the new season - Dylan
DeleteNot weird at all. Whether you write, paint or whatever you do it primarily to express yourself. If other people like it, great, but it's for yourself.
ReplyDeleteKeep getting out in the world with the dog and bins and hopefully in time things will get better.
I have to admit that by writing this blog I do feel that the burden is, somehow, reduced. Not too sure how others see it, but that's how it is for me.
DeleteDyl, If Bev was here today, would she want you to be as upset as you are? Yes or no? Also, do you yourself want to be upset. Yes or no?
ReplyDeleteHow you move forward is a function of the combination of the choices you make. Maths being the language of the Universe suggests a double negative equates to a positive.
Ric, I am unable to give definitive yes/no answers to either of your questions. I am struggling, and of that there is no doubt, but those folk around me are incredibly supportive and feel sure that I'm dealing with the situation in an expected manner? Cheers - Dyl
Delete